Scum ethnology

‘One of our residents, Mike, whom I have written about before, arrived the other day at the office door complete with gormless shuffle and his two hands placed firmly down the front of his tracksuit so as to remind the world that he has testicles and has already used them to pollute the planet with his gene pool. He has recently moved from the Housing Project in to a one bedroom flat provided by the Housing Association. He lives in here at half the cost (which Housing Benefit pay) of what the same flat would cost him in the privately rented sector. Despite living a very comfortable life on the proceeds of others hard work, as well as the income he derives from selling drugs to his peers, Mike still finds a lot of time to come and complain to staff at the project whilst visiting his girlfriend who is still a resident here. As per usual he just walked in to the office uninvited and started demanding what he perceived to be his rights … There are several of our residents who as well as being unable to sign on the dole on time without constantly having their benefits cut off are also incapable of having keys without losing them’ (from Winston’s blog –

Winston spends time explaining how he comes to hate these jerks, and the clown tolerance expected of him.  One has to agree with it all.  I haven’t published my own experiences trying to deal personally and professionally with these scum, and how I have come to view most of the “professionals” involved as the real problem.

‘Mike’ and many like him are almost unbelievably useless.  In this incident he is after yet another set of keys to his flat, because he’s lost yet another set.  He whines on about immigration and people stealing jobs he could do.  ‘Mike’, and many like him could not do most jobs because they are unreliable, useless and all the rest.  His girlfriend is pregnant.

Academic paper after academic paper, for well over 50 years identifies this group of useless bastards, but dare not say the name.  Whilst I’ve found many cops and social worker-types utterly unaware of the knowledge-base, those who have put the effort in can’t use it much. There are many ‘Mikes’ and daft doozies who will become their pregnant munters around here.  I’ll highlight just one.

I first saw ‘Chris’ when we moved here about ten years ago.  He was wandering down the road in his nappies.  My neighbour took him in.  This became a regular occurrence.  The mother was often pissed or drugged up, though she’s quite a decent woman to talk to.  Chris has grown up alongside our grandson, played in our house, seemed to have a moral compass as a kid, but also had to transfer primary schools.  He’s been in special schools.  He’s on medication.  Cops have been called over him many times and it’s clear they don’t get training appropriate to the problems.  He was wheeled away after I disarmed him when he was wrestling with my neighbour and threatening her with a pointy stick I had to take off him (after 2 cop visits).  I’m really to disabled to be doing this stuff.  Chris often ‘lurks’ in other people’s gardens late at night.  We think he may be pre-schizophrenic.  One of his younger brothers cringes in fear when Chris ‘goes nutter’.  Chris is in a lot of fights.  He is 13.  He talks of ‘contacts’ who will sort him out as a drug-dealer and spends time with ‘Ron’ who does deal drugs.  He idealises his very criminal older brother and similar shits in the local network – there is a ‘Fagin’ network.  I seem to remember a PCSO being beaten up by a kid like Chris.  Cops forget stuff like this when leaving us to deal with sharp sticks, fishing catapults and so on.  I’ve been taking stuff like this off him because his mum isn’t the kind to accuse me of stealing them.  I restrung his guitar a while back.  He doesn’t play with my grandson now, and I won’t let him in the house, though what do you do with a barefoot kid, smacked in the gob pleading for help?

Chris is just a few years from being ‘Mike’ or ‘Ron’ – Ron got the daughter of some decent people pregnant and tried to hang himself from a local lamp-post when she left him (Ron was given the house this was possible in by the council ALMO).  Quite often, older useless Mikes are able to groom very young girls and shag them (say 24 on 14), and also con young lads into robberies.  Some of the ‘Mikes’ can be as old as 50 – the mental age is likely to be 14.  I’ve seen “parents”, at very close hand, use their kids as ‘collateral’ in this way.  This has even been offered to me by such vile creatures.

Most of these people are ‘local’ in the ‘League of Gentlemen’ sense – they never leave estates like the Swamp, and are as Gadget describes.  “Professionals” really don’t seem to get what is going on – I doubt 80% of Gadget contributors do either.  Chris will be Mike in a few years, maybe 2 or 3, as sure as eggs is eggs.  He is very likely to still be Mike at 35, 40 and 50.  One cannot say this with certainty on the individual Chris, but can on ‘statistical Chris’.

Chris is nowhere near as bad as some 13 year olds from the worst problem families.  Answers always seem predicated on spending lots of money on family projects, justified because we would have to spend so much more by just leaving them alone to become inveterate losers and crooks.  Not much of this money goes to the family directly, it pays “professional” wages an so on.  More than 40 years ago I saw similar problems, as serious as six 13 year old rapists – but many problems were sorted out by factory jobs, decent pay – one ‘Chris’ even asked me to be best man at his wedding.  Factories were better at ‘social work’ than social workers and better at ‘education’ than schools.

The area is rife with stupid notions like spending £65K and more on solutions with no thought about how we can do it for the £500 we have to spend.  “Professionals” and “politicians”, for all their squawking, just fill in forms, take their pay, manipulate bonuses and performance indicators, in order to live well away from the problems they know they are only lying about dealing with.  Part of the answer is to stop the scum not being likely to live next door to chief constables, judges, lawyers, teachers, cops and MPs.  The answer is not to let our buffoon town hall departments form co-operatives, but to form them amongst decent estate people in a manner that prevents town halls, courts, cops and others protecting their mortgage-paying abilities whilst doing sod all.  This would need connection to public works.

The answers are in growing an economy of a lot of small scale economies into which we can fit ‘Mikes’.  What skills might the Mikes offer, other than losing keys, perverting younger kids, drug dealing and lethargy – and how might we realistically change that?  Who are the interest groups against us trying?  Putin has to set up CCTV direct to his Moscow office to get stuff done in Russia – imagine the ‘surveillance’ needed to ensure the presence of Mikes on projects and to make sure they did a fair share and didn’t bully others?


2 thoughts on “Scum ethnology

  1. Pingback: Scum ethnology (via Allcoppedout's Blog) « THE BANKSIDE BABBLE

  2. Pingback: The cyclic evolution of Scumbags and Swamp Harlots « THE BANKSIDE BABBLE

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