The Privatisation of Policing

Readers will recall that the gutless Coalition no one voted for failed to take up my offer of policing by my Zambian trained Laotian Guard supervised by a call centre in Bangalore.  The thrust of my argument that policing is basically minimum wage scut-work that can be routinised like Macdonalds or shelf-stacking has nonetheless taken hold between the powerful thighs of the Home Secretary.  One can pick up the gist at – http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/mar/02/police-privatisation-security-firms-crime

The whole idea of right-wing economics is to produce levels of efficiency in which no jobs are worth doing and make the wages of the Chinese peasant economy the world currency.  ACO-Offshore always experiences difficulties in reducing public sector pay and the various Spanish practices such as insistence on qualified doctors, nurses and unreasonable insistences on a living wage and pensions.  One 7th of the cop at your door or refusing over the phone to send one is pension.  Any of my Laotians who can no longer jump high enough on my command merely does the decent thing, returning to subsistence farming or drug trafficking in the Golden Triangle.  We can’t have these old cops on the welfare bill for 40 years pretending their superannuation paid for it.  They are clearly a drag on current efficiency and force ACO-Offshore to hold much of our nationally created profits in the Caymans.

Thatcher taught us we have no need to wasteful mining, manufacturing and collective bargaining, and should buy in commodities, plastic trash and energy from the cheapest serf economies.  Bow we must tale full advantage of the knowledge that the going rate for work is whatever it commands in rural China or a tin mine in the Congo (just not quite enough food in order to motivate ensured effort tomorrow).  There is no point importing highly skilled Eastern Europeans and having them idle about in low paid jobs when they could take over high paid jobs in policing, displacing our own talent into working smarter in the jobs they so often point out our Swamp-class decline.

The key element in all this is the levelling of public sector privilege to the golden par days of How Green Was My Valley in which expensive Welsh workers were replaced with virtuously cheap Irish ones.  There will be many claims about skills and getting the job done properly – but look at Response which is manned by men and women wet-behind-the-ears from training school and old lags who have upset supervision somewhere.  And what advances would a private sector manager, such as myself, bring to the statistics of police success when he could relate them directly to a doubling of a vulture fund investment in Congolese Enclosures?

Wake up and smell the coffee people – you are vastly overpaid, There is a waiting reserve army to take your jobs and this is only what has happened across other industry sectors while you supported the Establishment.  The textile, shipyard and manufacturing workers were first and you didn’t stand up for them.  Now they’re coming for you.   They haven’t even started reducing the deficit yet – it’s really up to 150% of GDP.  We’ll be going Greek soon.  One pound in every seven of police pay is going on pensions and all salaries are 50% too high.  It costs £500 to get one of you to an incident.  ACO-Offshore will reduce that to £100 through judicious use of market forces, home working and networked response through the temporary deputisation of people next door.

Some rank and file objections can be found here – http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2012/mar/03/police-federation-vice-chairman-warning .

The real changes we need are economic and this means economics based on full employment with wages  that encourage decent lives (for cops as well as those criminally inclined) in jobs we deem worth doing instead of the current immoral banksterism.  We could have doubled the size of our policing effort and still imported all the crap we don’t want, including the inability to pay and retain the cops we need.

3 thoughts on “The Privatisation of Policing

  1. “We’ll be going Greek soon. “

    We sort of did that, last summer. This summer, though, we won’t be going Greek, because we have the Olympics!

    Oh. Wait….

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